Mind Games

Have you ever had a time when a thought constantly buzzes around in your head uncontrollably (be it an image, a song, a person, or an event that had just occurred) and no matter what you tried to do, those persistent thoughts can never seem to fade when you want them to?  I have those almost all too often and it always takes me a day to shake those kinds of annoyances.  Now these kinds of thoughts could come in many forms: the feeling of mourn, crazy love for another, odd occurrences of childhood memories, and perhaps gut wrenching hate.  Yet we always have control over what we say, our actions, our thought processing, and attention.  Quite an interesting paradox. ( I had to ask my family just if they knew the word that I could not remember, but it was at the the tip of my tongue.  Paradox.  I hate those times.)

No one has complete mastery of their minds even though we're capable of pulling memories and imaginations at our will so long as it is not being used.  We might claim we can control our thinking, but we always get those rampant thoughts that for some unknown reason we cannot out think it.  Many of you know what I'm talking about.  The redundant excuses are as follows: 'I can't stop thinking about her', 'I don't know why I did it', 'That song is stuck in my head', and most often 'That was random' after a strange thought from out of no where goes through.  Habits and other such inexplicable actions follow along with this.

From observing my own patterns, I have discovered three kinds of thoughts.  I get the feeling that a more educated person in the area's of the mind has more knowledge about this than I, but I shall still state my discoveries nonetheless.  The first kind of thoughts are cerebral, the ones that you use to recall a past event specific to the individual on any given day, time, and circumstance.  These are always under lock and key until one decides to share them with others revealing much about their history.  The second kind is processed thinking in which you constantly contemplate with yourself or another in your head (if you're one of those people) about what you will say and do, evaluate or promote ideas and imagination, and hold opinions.  However, in this day, many people don't seem to screen what is about to be outspoken until it is too late, which is how people end up being offensive or embarrassed.  Finally there is the most annoying one of all and that's the rampant thinking.  These thoughts have full reign over themselves and go and do whatever they please without your sovereign approval, wrecking havoc on your sanctum of inner peace with but not limited to persistent images, phrases, people, and music.  I believe this kind of thinking is the true source of habit and addiction, be it good or bad.

At the moment, I am obsessing over how I can gain complete mastery over all my thinking, including the rouge ones.  I have contemplating solutions of control with myself but with no avail.  Yet I can't help but remember someone who suffered from a condition of having both bipolar and schizophrenia at the same time.  Don't get worked up, he is in full control of himself with an amount of meditation and maybe drugs?  Those facts I still don't have.  Regardless, he was telling me during a trip to Moab in southern Utah about how he would work twice as hard to keep sane with some mind exercises.  He mentioned to me that the brain is always thinking at every sensation and at all times through the day and night, so he would try to drown out these sensations by not making any thought during his meditation exercises.  Any notion of a thought, he would shove it out while also noting the impossibility of the attempted shoving seeing as it is him thinking that he would not think.  I have tried this and I must admit, it is rather difficult to achieve, but mentally engaging.  I said difficult, but it isn't impossible.

Habits and addictions could be eradicated by simply trying to find reason in the illogical.  Using detective work on yourself as far as why you do the things you do without using outside sources as a suspect.  And when the very thought of a negative impulse comes along, you should abruptly stand up and shout, "Why the heck should I do that?" with the intent of finding a reason to why attempt the impulse.  Though I will disclaim that I have yielded little success to that, but then again, everyone is different and should find a solution unique to them.

The conclusion to this on-going quest of self mastery is that everyone has mental instability in their own degree and should discover your weaknesses as well as your strengths.  Everyone will have those stubborn annoying rampant train of thoughts that for some reason will not leave at your command, the one thing most humans seem to lack of, and some brain stimulants or depressants will not be enough to silence them whatever you use to cope to stress.  If you want to find ways to forget her, get over your heartache, diminish your hate, or other annoyances, I would strongly recommend you find someone who will only listen to you as you talk your persistent problems to death.  Because we're not alone in our times and we shouldn't believe that we are alone.  Everyone has someone, it doesn't matter who or what.

End World

Since the passing of the said 'end of the world' craze, there have been a lot of relief, disappointment, and amusings.  I have even heard of apocalypse tourist breaking the Mayan calender.  That might be false but then I never would've known that there were people who were so angry that their lives didn't end.  The question I've always asked myself is "How do they think the world would end?"  In a blaze of fire, nuclear onslaught, or simply disappearing from existence.  I however have my own theory of how it could end.  Heh, listen to me (or read if you want to get technical) I'm talking about the world's end when I never believed in the inaccurate markings of stone.  And from what I've heard, there was a lot of partying.  I can only imagine what was taking place during those celebrations as what most humans naturally do when they see they have only hours left.  You get the idea.

That brings me to what I really believe will happen to the world.  There will be no cataclysmic event like an asteroid,  or a solar flare, or even extraterrestrials coming to bring our doom.  Physicians, astronomers, mathematicians, and all other areas of science and study has brought many things to our knowledge.  So much that if our ancestors would see the world we live in and how much we understand, they would perceive us as sophisticated and perhaps godlike, enlightened in many things excelling their knowledge.  Yet as we increase our knowledge, we increase our fears, spark twisted imaginations, perhaps commit unspeakable horrors on each other.  The things in the past that was considered inappropriate and wrong is now accepted and with little consequence.  Greed, pride, suspicion, short fused, and evil are becoming more apparent and tolerable to the point where anything that was considered honorable, of good report, and right is being prosecuted and attacked.

Now I can hear you saying "Where is this going?".  Here's my point:  It will be mankind that will bring about it's own undoing, it's own destruction, the worlds end.  People today are more proned to violence and fear that there is little to no good in them.  Like all the chaos and monstrosities that is happening in the other nations, something like that could very well be the life of future children across the globe.  What for, no one will remember.  All they know is hate and that they need to destroy each other to achieve the illusion of peace and happiness.  Bloodshed will only lead to more bloodshed.  Hate is an insational hunger yearning for more hate.  So what about a nuclear war?  It's possible, but I'm no seer.

I'm saying this lightly however.  This is all based upon what I've seen in people around me and in the media, the place where people say they get information but is all one sided no matter which source you go to.  I've seen what anger can do if not kept in check, I've heard all the fanatics and scientist who say how the world will end, and I've seen the people who take every action in preparing for that end.  The result is always the same.  Humans will act on their lustful desires when they know that death will come quickly to all.  I'm not saying all people will though as I have seen the kindness and humility in others changing perspective to most, even altering lives.  The world will endure on for a time no one is certain of.  So stop looking forward to the end when you have a life to fulfill and others to aid.  Take no thought of tomorrow for tomorrow will take thought of itself.  All we have to do is act with the time that we have.