Have you ever had a time when a thought constantly buzzes around in your head uncontrollably (be it an image, a song, a person, or an event that had just occurred) and no matter what you tried to do, those persistent thoughts can never seem to fade when you want them to? I have those almost all too often and it always takes me a day to shake those kinds of annoyances. Now these kinds of thoughts could come in many forms: the feeling of mourn, crazy love for another, odd occurrences of childhood memories, and perhaps gut wrenching hate. Yet we always have control over what we say, our actions, our thought processing, and attention. Quite an interesting paradox. ( I had to ask my family just if they knew the word that I could not remember, but it was at the the tip of my tongue. Paradox. I hate those times.)
No one has complete mastery of their minds even though we're capable of pulling memories and imaginations at our will so long as it is not being used. We might claim we can control our thinking, but we always get those rampant thoughts that for some unknown reason we cannot out think it. Many of you know what I'm talking about. The redundant excuses are as follows: 'I can't stop thinking about her', 'I don't know why I did it', 'That song is stuck in my head', and most often 'That was random' after a strange thought from out of no where goes through. Habits and other such inexplicable actions follow along with this.
From observing my own patterns, I have discovered three kinds of thoughts. I get the feeling that a more educated person in the area's of the mind has more knowledge about this than I, but I shall still state my discoveries nonetheless. The first kind of thoughts are cerebral, the ones that you use to recall a past event specific to the individual on any given day, time, and circumstance. These are always under lock and key until one decides to share them with others revealing much about their history. The second kind is processed thinking in which you constantly contemplate with yourself or another in your head (if you're one of those people) about what you will say and do, evaluate or promote ideas and imagination, and hold opinions. However, in this day, many people don't seem to screen what is about to be outspoken until it is too late, which is how people end up being offensive or embarrassed. Finally there is the most annoying one of all and that's the rampant thinking. These thoughts have full reign over themselves and go and do whatever they please without your sovereign approval, wrecking havoc on your sanctum of inner peace with but not limited to persistent images, phrases, people, and music. I believe this kind of thinking is the true source of habit and addiction, be it good or bad.
At the moment, I am obsessing over how I can gain complete mastery over all my thinking, including the rouge ones. I have contemplating solutions of control with myself but with no avail. Yet I can't help but remember someone who suffered from a condition of having both bipolar and schizophrenia at the same time. Don't get worked up, he is in full control of himself with an amount of meditation and maybe drugs? Those facts I still don't have. Regardless, he was telling me during a trip to Moab in southern Utah about how he would work twice as hard to keep sane with some mind exercises. He mentioned to me that the brain is always thinking at every sensation and at all times through the day and night, so he would try to drown out these sensations by not making any thought during his meditation exercises. Any notion of a thought, he would shove it out while also noting the impossibility of the attempted shoving seeing as it is him thinking that he would not think. I have tried this and I must admit, it is rather difficult to achieve, but mentally engaging. I said difficult, but it isn't impossible.
Habits and addictions could be eradicated by simply trying to find reason in the illogical. Using detective work on yourself as far as why you do the things you do without using outside sources as a suspect. And when the very thought of a negative impulse comes along, you should abruptly stand up and shout, "Why the heck should I do that?" with the intent of finding a reason to why attempt the impulse. Though I will disclaim that I have yielded little success to that, but then again, everyone is different and should find a solution unique to them.
The conclusion to this on-going quest of self mastery is that everyone has mental instability in their own degree and should discover your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Everyone will have those stubborn annoying rampant train of thoughts that for some reason will not leave at your command, the one thing most humans seem to lack of, and some brain stimulants or depressants will not be enough to silence them whatever you use to cope to stress. If you want to find ways to forget her, get over your heartache, diminish your hate, or other annoyances, I would strongly recommend you find someone who will only listen to you as you talk your persistent problems to death. Because we're not alone in our times and we shouldn't believe that we are alone. Everyone has someone, it doesn't matter who or what.
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